Friday, May 6, 2011
Passive-Aggressive Facebook Statuses
I don't consider this a "real" blog but more of a vent. I'm so sick of people on my facebook page passive-aggressively slamming the way other people either choose or have to live their lives. It's very un-Christlike and hurtful. Not everyone can live an "all natural" life. Not everyone is in the position to do things what may ultimately be the best or healthiest, but we do the best we can given our situations. Get off your high horse and stop trying to make yourself feel better than everyone else by boasting about the way you live yours!
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
Being Written Off
My brother and I haven't spoken in 12-1/2 years. I won't go into all the details, but mostly what happened had more to do with a third party than anything else. I don't remember all that happened, and I'm certain he doesn't either.
I don't know a lot about my brother's life over the past dozen years, but I do know a little. He joined the military seemingly to escape being a father (he has a stepson and a biological son). He has never really been there for his boys. When he does come into town to visit, he usually doesn't even tell them he's coming so he can avoid seeing them. This breaks my heart. I can't stand going several hours without seeing my children let alone such long periods of time without giving them a second thought. Over the years, my brother has fought in wars and once got so sick he almost died. I know he has been through a lot, and I would never deny that.
Recently my brother came into town. My mother told me he wanted to see me and meet my children. I was ecstatic. A day or two after he got here, my mom called me very upset stating that my brother didn't want to see me. I was crushed. I still am. He rejected me, and he rejected my children who don't even know him. When I told my oldest two daughters this, they bravely went up to my mom's house and confronted him. Not only did they confront him, they tore into him. He didn't have a good excuse. He claims it has to do with me not speaking to my mom for 10 years after she hurt me over and over again. Everyone has pretty much admitted I was in the right for walking away from the drama and emotional abuse like I did. I'm all about forgiveness, but I don't believe I have to take abuse from anyone over and over again. Anyway, this was a convenient excuse for him. My mother and I have patched things up and get along just fine now. I'm very proud of my girls for defending me like they did. If it all went down like they said, they won!
Again, I'm very hurt. Mostly, though, I pity my brother. Anyone carrying around that much anger and hatred has to be miserable. There's just no way he's happy. I hate that he's choosing that sort of life for himself.
Anyway, my brother has since gone back to his home in Missouri. He didn't contact me. He told my daughters whether it be Heaven or Hell, this is a grudge he won't let go of. Now I have to somehow accept that I'm basically dead in my brother's eyes. I'm absolutely heartbroken. Unless a miracle happens, I'll never see my brother again.
What's the blessing in all this, you ask? Beats the heck out of me. I know it's there. Maybe it's a lesson in love and forgiveness for me because every once in a while a little anger at him creeps in. I need to squelch that right away. I love my brother. I'm not mad at him. Any anger I feel is fleeting
I don't know a lot about my brother's life over the past dozen years, but I do know a little. He joined the military seemingly to escape being a father (he has a stepson and a biological son). He has never really been there for his boys. When he does come into town to visit, he usually doesn't even tell them he's coming so he can avoid seeing them. This breaks my heart. I can't stand going several hours without seeing my children let alone such long periods of time without giving them a second thought. Over the years, my brother has fought in wars and once got so sick he almost died. I know he has been through a lot, and I would never deny that.
Recently my brother came into town. My mother told me he wanted to see me and meet my children. I was ecstatic. A day or two after he got here, my mom called me very upset stating that my brother didn't want to see me. I was crushed. I still am. He rejected me, and he rejected my children who don't even know him. When I told my oldest two daughters this, they bravely went up to my mom's house and confronted him. Not only did they confront him, they tore into him. He didn't have a good excuse. He claims it has to do with me not speaking to my mom for 10 years after she hurt me over and over again. Everyone has pretty much admitted I was in the right for walking away from the drama and emotional abuse like I did. I'm all about forgiveness, but I don't believe I have to take abuse from anyone over and over again. Anyway, this was a convenient excuse for him. My mother and I have patched things up and get along just fine now. I'm very proud of my girls for defending me like they did. If it all went down like they said, they won!
Again, I'm very hurt. Mostly, though, I pity my brother. Anyone carrying around that much anger and hatred has to be miserable. There's just no way he's happy. I hate that he's choosing that sort of life for himself.
Anyway, my brother has since gone back to his home in Missouri. He didn't contact me. He told my daughters whether it be Heaven or Hell, this is a grudge he won't let go of. Now I have to somehow accept that I'm basically dead in my brother's eyes. I'm absolutely heartbroken. Unless a miracle happens, I'll never see my brother again.
What's the blessing in all this, you ask? Beats the heck out of me. I know it's there. Maybe it's a lesson in love and forgiveness for me because every once in a while a little anger at him creeps in. I need to squelch that right away. I love my brother. I'm not mad at him. Any anger I feel is fleeting
Sunday, May 1, 2011
One Huge Blessing in These Tough Times
Ugh. I keep forgetting to come here and post every night. My goal is to keep a blog counting my daily blessings, no matter how big or small. Today I have a big one.
The economy is a disaster, and we're really feeling it here at home. What we used to spend on two carts full of food at the market, we now spend on one. Gas to heat our homes and electric have gone through the roof. Water is higher. Clothing is set to go up in price this year. I won't even talk about fuel prices for our cars. Thank God I don't drive that often. A tank of gas can last me a month sometimes, which is a true blessing.
Here's the biggie. We've been living in the same house now for 14 years. We moved in here when we had just two children. It was one side of a duplex, and we fit just fine. We had another baby a year later and still had enough room. Over the years, we continued to grow our family and ended up having three more children all the while living in a tiny three-bedroom duplex. It was rough, but the rent was a cheap $300 a month. Our home was owned by our neighbor's son. Our neighbor sadly died last summer. It was really hard because we really cared for him. His son doesn't live in our town and didn't want to deal with maintaining the house so offered to let us bust open the walls and make it one giant house. This was a double blessing because not only is it so much roomier, but they only asked us to pay an extra $100 a month to cover taxes. Nowhere in this country can you rent a house half the size of what we have for $400 a month. Okay, so here's another blessing. They want us to buy the house. They just don't want it anymore and will put it up for sale if we don't buy it. Last summer my WONDERFUL mother-in-law went to be with the Lord. She was a truly fabulous lady, and I miss her every single day. Her estate wasn't enormous, but she left us enough that we'll be able to not only buy the house but also pay for it in full if we so desire, possibly within the next few months. Even if we go without a down payment, which may be possible but not what I want to do, our mortgage payment will be less than our rent payment now. That's how cheap they're selling us the house! Now, it isn't a fancy house at all, but in these hard economic times I just want a place to live in that we can afford and won't be thrown out of if one of us loses our job. THIS, my friends, is a HUGE blessing! Many people are losing their homes right now, so I'm very thankful that we're able to secure ours.
The economy is a disaster, and we're really feeling it here at home. What we used to spend on two carts full of food at the market, we now spend on one. Gas to heat our homes and electric have gone through the roof. Water is higher. Clothing is set to go up in price this year. I won't even talk about fuel prices for our cars. Thank God I don't drive that often. A tank of gas can last me a month sometimes, which is a true blessing.
Here's the biggie. We've been living in the same house now for 14 years. We moved in here when we had just two children. It was one side of a duplex, and we fit just fine. We had another baby a year later and still had enough room. Over the years, we continued to grow our family and ended up having three more children all the while living in a tiny three-bedroom duplex. It was rough, but the rent was a cheap $300 a month. Our home was owned by our neighbor's son. Our neighbor sadly died last summer. It was really hard because we really cared for him. His son doesn't live in our town and didn't want to deal with maintaining the house so offered to let us bust open the walls and make it one giant house. This was a double blessing because not only is it so much roomier, but they only asked us to pay an extra $100 a month to cover taxes. Nowhere in this country can you rent a house half the size of what we have for $400 a month. Okay, so here's another blessing. They want us to buy the house. They just don't want it anymore and will put it up for sale if we don't buy it. Last summer my WONDERFUL mother-in-law went to be with the Lord. She was a truly fabulous lady, and I miss her every single day. Her estate wasn't enormous, but she left us enough that we'll be able to not only buy the house but also pay for it in full if we so desire, possibly within the next few months. Even if we go without a down payment, which may be possible but not what I want to do, our mortgage payment will be less than our rent payment now. That's how cheap they're selling us the house! Now, it isn't a fancy house at all, but in these hard economic times I just want a place to live in that we can afford and won't be thrown out of if one of us loses our job. THIS, my friends, is a HUGE blessing! Many people are losing their homes right now, so I'm very thankful that we're able to secure ours.
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